Hoy amanecí con una taza de té en mis manos.
Con el ímpetu de la mañana en mi corazón. Enviando aquellos saludos que tenía pendientes, terminando de revisar aquellas letras que tengo que presentar pronto.
Hoy amanecí con una taza de té en mis manos.
Recordándome, recordando constantemente que el mundo sigue su curso y yo quiero continuar con el mío.
Aún hay muchas, muchas cosas que solucionar, muchas cosas que se quedan en medio del ir y venir cotidiano. Pero paso a paso, todo puede ser solucionado.
Arreglando mis documentos -esos que siempre tengo hechos un desastre- encontré la primera nota que te iba a escribir, de mi puño y letra. Preferí no hacerlo así. Porque cada vez que escribo con esa inquietud de que mis palabras lleguen a ti, de una forma tan personal, como lo es a través de la tinta, me desgasto. Por eso opté por escribirte por aquí. Aquí las letras no te llegan con tanta rapidez, quizá jamás te lleguen, -eso es lo que siempre ruego- e inevitablemente, aunque no lo parezca estás letras inscritas a través de una pantalla, por medio de bytes que se convierten en números 1001... no son tan personales como mis propios ruegos inscritos en una hoja en blanco.
Así que así te escribiré, sin que sepas mi nombre...sin que encuentres en éstos gestos que se materializan algún significado profundo. Simplemente estoy escribiendo.
4/Oct/2012
Hello,
Somedays ago I decided to stop talking by internet with you. The main reason is that's too easy to get involved, at least for me, in that game, that's not an adolescents one...it's an adults game, cause we are adults right now.
I know it will be so hard for me to get you out of my life right now. I still have the intention of see what are you doing in this world. Wihtout asking you only making questions to that letters you left behind.
Right know I decided to close everything that concern you. It's my way to keep going on...because I know we cannot be the same that in the past, and we never will have a future.
Sometimes I ask myself what Was I waiting for? Maybe just you deciding left everything else, everyone else, except me. The selfish desire that consume the humans. You Just be mine...forever, until forever will last in this Earth.
A selfish desire, from a warm and kind heart...it's difficult imagine for the rest of the people who know me that I can have this kind of feelings. But actually I can do it, I can feel that way too. So many times thinking about you.
But I was, and I am tired of wait. Someday, you asked me if I will left everything and everyone, if you decided to keep going with our relationship. Some years ago, I definitely say I will love you and give my everything for you, although the rest of the people think and said about it, forever and always yours and only yours.
But I'm not the same girl...and you never will change your mind. Life is easiest this way you choosed. But I don't like the easy ways.
And I will not wait forever for you. Not more.
'Cause I deserved someone who truly loves me and treasure me above all the people and all the things. I want this kind of relationship.
And I think I will find it someday.
In somewhere.
With someone.
Although this "someone", it's sure, it won't be you.
G.
